By Jen P
Here’s something you may not know: I used to LOVE horror movies. I’d invite a ton of friends, and we’d all cram together in a crowded theater. Some would scream and yell at the screen, others threw popcorn, and sometimes, you’d leave holding hands with the cute boy you’d been flirting with all night. The boldest among us might miss the movie altogether…
But I digress.
The more horror I saw, the more sensitive I became. It started with Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003). I figured, it’s a popular franchise- I’ll get my frights, have a few nightmares, and be done with it. Nope. I was scarred. At the time, I didn’t know the difference between a gore fest and a traditional horror film (I’m making up genre’s here) but there truly is one. If torture porn strikes your fancy, then you’ll be sadly disappointed with my list. To this day, I refuse to watch Saw, Hostel, A Clockwork Orange (walked out of class that day), The Hills Have Eyes, or Last House on the Left. I draw the line at Wax Museum (ooh, I need to add that!).
Below, you’ll find movies that range from moderately gory to a few jumps and squeals. Please enjoy my Top 10 Frightening Flicks.
If you’ve read any of my previous articles, then you know I love the Scream franchise. It’s funny, it’s campy, and it’s terrifying! But anything I can say here, I’ve probably already said, so please check out my tributes to both Scream and Wes Craven.
Fear Rating: 4
2. Paranormal Activity
The first PA film renewed our fears in the things that go bump in the night. It created a new way to be afraid. And that second movie… if you haven’t seen it, be prepared for the kitchen scene. Hell, the kitchen is scarier than the bedroom cams in both PA2 and PA3. I’m just going to leave it at that. Be warned: these movies focus on things that will scare the religious among you, the parents, and even the couples. If you have a dog, you’ll be okay, but they almost go there in PA2. I’m terrified to see the most recent one because there’s a little girl in it. After kids, it’s tough to watch anything that even hints at hurting one. Please, somebody watch it and let me know if it’s safe. I’m begging you!
Fear Rating: 10
SyFy humanoid zombie type monsters coupled with claustrophobia and gore. Need I say more? I will. This movie features one of my favorite white-trash sexy boys, Cam Gigandet, and ooh, is he nasty in this one. The whole movie is nasty.
Fear Rating: 4
4. 28 Days Later
Beautiful landscape and score: horrifying nightmare of humanity. Geeks will enjoy the 9th Doctor being awful, Scarecrow being fantastic, and Mad-Eye Moody just being sad. The first zombie scene… in the church. YIPES.
But this film teeters on the edge for me. On one hand, I LOVE everything about it- I’ve grown comfortable with the frights over the years and I can enjoy the originality and the commentary on humanity at its worst. Rage virus is something we all have. On the other hand, ZOMBIES SCARE THE S*** OUT OF ME. And fast zombies? WTF?!? I’m out. Peace. See ya. Bye Felicia.
Fear Rating: 8.5
5. Jennifer’s Body
Sexy, bloody, disgusting, campy, and demonic? HELL YEAH. Meghan Fox doing what she does best- lookin’ good. And Amanda Seyfried is just precious… until she’s not. I love that this film is part horror, and part revenge movie. You almost feel good after you watch it. Enjoy.
Fear Rating: 3
6. Resident Evil
Did I mention that Zombie’s terrify me? You can thank Dawn of the Dead and SyFy channel for ruining it for me. Bring a baby into it and you can go f*** yourselves, movie-makers. That’s just a s***ty thing to do. I don’t go to horror movies to be sad, I go to see douchebags get what they deserve. That being said, Resident Evil 1 & 2 are safe from sorrow… mostly. RIP big guy, you know who you are. *tear*
Fear Rating: 6
7. The Descent
NOPE. Watched it once… got brave and watched it again… and NOPE. The Descent is a claustrophobic and gory highlight of the darkest seeds within us. When a group of girlfriends spelunk in an uncharted cavern, they get trapped. And they’re not alone. Secrets come to light. True natures are exposed. It forces us to ask ourselves: what would we do if our lives depended on it? And there are two endings. One a total downer, and another still so disturbing you’ll realize that no one gets out unscathed (even you).
Fear Rating: 10
8. The Ruins
You wouldn’t think that creeping vines would be scary, but you’d be wrong. The Ruins is messed up. It’s gory, it’s romantic (not happy, mind you), it’s sad… Much like The Descent, this one leaves you feeling morose and contemplative. *Shudders*
Fear Rating: 7
9. House of Wax
“See Paris Die!” is probably my favorite tagline of all time. This one leans towards the sicker side of horror, but it’s fun to watch. Invite your friends, pop some popcorn, and re-live high school all over again. Who knows, you might even go home with that cute guy you like…
Also, enjoy Paris Hilton getting a pole through her head. YAY!
Fear Rating: 6
10. Godzilla (2014)
Half disaster movie, half creature feature, this reboot does not disappoint. I don’t know if I was just hormonal that day or what, but I literally cried when the monsters started fighting. The crew did a fantastic job of putting you on the ground and making you feel tiny while destruction rains down around you. Plus the cast is amazing, the new Godzilla is f***ing badass, and the tension is epic. It’s just a great movie.
Fear Rating: 2
The ones that got bumped:
1. Silent Hill- Fear Rating: 7
3. The Grudge- Fear Rating: 8
2. Darkness Falls- Fear Rating: 5
And if you like your creeps to haunt you for years, try:
Sorry, I can’t give it a proper rating. I haven’t seen it in so long and it’s very difficult to come by. I just remember feeling so sad after watching it, and you know how much I hate that! Also, there are human marionettes…
What are your favorite scary movies? Let us know in the comments!